Journal Entries: Exploration

February 5^th, 2011

Chantepie, France

Fougères, France

France is the bomb. I saw my first castle today in Fougères, France and spent 3 hours wandering around and learning all of the history. I fell in love. France is the best place ever. I miss home and some on my US friends, yes, but this experience is fantastic and I wouldn't change it for the world.

“Hey, I’m not the one who opened the gate. I just walked through it.” –Fougeres lake with Megan, Michaela, Katia, Johanes, Birgit and Ann as we snuck in and then got kicked out of the “private property” area.

I also had the most amazing dessert in Fougeres today after an amazing meal at the French Café Paris. We stopped in at this little patisserie and I took part in one of my favorite activities here in France: I go into a patisserie and pick the one thing that I see that I’ve never tried and I can’t pronounce (or have never heard of) and eat it. This way, I am constantly being surprised, introduced to new flavors and kept on my toes. I like the challenge and the change of something new and unexpected, even if it’s just an amazing dessert without a name.

My brother, Brady, and I spent a lot of time talking about trips and love and dreams tonight and then we got onto the topic of me and people pleasing. He asked if making people happy makes me happy or if it just sustains me. I think that it’s both, honestly. I don't think it's a blanket statement for either one…it mixes. But I do know that, in being an extrovert, I draw my energy from being around people. Following that, I am able to draw other emotions from them, too. (Which for the most part is healthy for both people in the relationship, whether lover or friend). I can empathize with them quite well and I think that's good. However, sometimes I think I'm just trying to sustain myself, my confidence and identity through my interactions with people and life dealings. I challenge myself to do the things of which I am afraid and that's how I end up knowing so many people. It’s really complicated and I wonder if maybe I am too much of a people pleaser, but I try to consistently make time for myself in order to write my goals, talk to God about His goals for me and to pursue my own dreams while I help others’ dreams come true, too. In other words, it’s not a bad habit if I keep it under control and don’t follow the codependent tendencies of my family.