Meeting the Family: An Outsider's Way In

Decorating the Christmas Tree: Success
(Oldenburg, Germany)

After spending six months in the wonderful land of Germany, I can hardly say that I was prepared, nay equipped, for the Christmas holiday with my German boyfriend's family. Two months of German language lessons twice a week left me struggling to follow the quips, sarcasm and overall flow of conversation that came as soon as the car door opened in Siegen en route to Oldenburg. I felt ready to rip my ear off, dip it in a good beer and toss it to my new "German Family" in hopes that somehow I wouldn't be lost in translation any longer. Many mistaken der, die, and das in between hearty meat, good cake and Christmas beverages later, we were all laughing over a game of billiards (during which I reportedly had become the "profi" professional). Perhaps communication lines are eased when a bit of healthy competition, fun and good beer are thrown into the mix.

When it came to Fooseball (called Kicker in German), my boyfriend would apparently much prefer to work up a sweat and crack the table in half than lose. However, even table soccer needs cheerleaders, so I contributed with some jolly and mispronounced "ja Woll!" "gut gemacht" and "toller Schuss!" (Yes sir, well done and nice shot!)

In Germany: respect the process and theme of
decorating the tree and you just might survive!

It is very important to note, however, that there is a sort of mathematical curve in terms of German language abilities and beer consumption. These two are generally directly related and, as beer levels increase, so do speaking capabilities. This goes for billiards skill in relation to consumption as well. Unfortunately, as goes for the optimum tariff we've been studying in International Economics here in Cologne, there is a maximum level of benefit. After that level (of tariff % or drink consumption) the curve shoots you back to either trade decline or missed shots and misunderstandings. Let's just say that I properly performed my research and graphed this curve unwittingly and much to my own embarrassment. Fortunately, the whole experience became a good laugh for all, we lost at billiards, I made up my own version of what I thought was Deutsch and I was dubbed the "Sweet Girl" for the duration of my stay.  I must say that I'm relieved that that was the name I received after all the hullabaloo, but that might be because I never caught word of any other granted titles.

Though I may have caught my own hair on fire from the candles on the Christmas Tree (O' Tannenbaum!), eaten a pile of pink termed "Heringsalat," and crashed my bike into a

One of the nightly spreads on the dinner table!
(Pork filet wrapped with prosciutto in a cognac-cream sauce
accompanied by baked hash browns and creamed veggies.)

 lamp post amidst the frenzy of dozens of hurried, Christmas-shopping bikers, I learned to adore his German family with their traditions, present opening schedules, and especially palate in terms of what is to follow the hearty call of "GUTEN APPETIT!"

The Cure? Culture Shock 3.0

I have found that the best way to cure my culture shock so far is a short list of Bethany Habits. Some come naturally and some are being purposefully created. Whatever the beginning might be, I have the same end in mind: normality. (However, I still can't identify if that's a reasonable or even desirable goal. Perhaps I should shift that to comfortability or belonging, since neither of those have been achieved as of yet).

1.) Fill your schedule. If you're busy enough, you won't have as much time to miss what you left behind. This works most of the time until you have a mental breakdown because you're overwhelmed and suffering from culture shock. In my life, this seems to be a common issue. Therefore, I move on to step two.

2.) Avoid pictures and conversations with those you met abroad; wanderlust will only return at this point. I have failed with this idea, mostly because I think it's unhealthy. Granted, I yearn even more for my home in France when I sift through old photos and Skype with my buddies from abroad but, without doing so, I feel like I would be denying new pieces of myself that I just acquired. If I just bought a new book, I will want to read it even if it reminds me that I can't go back to that store I love so much for a very long time. Not doing so would be ignorant.

3.) Do not search to see how much flights cost to return. I have also failed at this. I search about once a week to see just how much effort, how many extra shifts and how much time off I would need to return to answer the call of my heart to that land far away.

4.) Hide your passport from yourself. This is a great tool if you tend to try to use it too often and are thus suspected of terrorism or at the very least suffering from over-wanderlust syndrom. In my case, it was a joy of looking over my arrival stamps, so I hid it in a "very safe place" that I am still trying to recall.

5.) Hang out with international students and do cultural things. This will indeed help you to feel as if you have switched shoes and can now properly welcome newcomers to your home culture. This is also a great resume builder and eye-opener to the world surrounding. However, it will also increase your urge to follow them back to their countries of origin in order to experience yet another adventure. Deny this if you ever want to lose the culture shock. Accept it it you want to thrive in a global world and to continue on the crazy train. (I chose the latter route).

Letters to Home, Part 4

January 1^st, 2011

Chantepie, France

My Dearest Mother,

My new home! Chantepie, France

I am so sorry that I haven’t been highly in contact. I can’t figure out whether or not I have access, limited or not, to the internet and things are very different here; it takes some getting used to. Today, Madame Deschamps is taking me to see my school and understand the bus system. I am very tired and have not yet completely adjusted to the time change. I fell asleep around 5 pm my first day, Friday, and slept until 3 am. Then, I couldn’t sleep and it was dark and quiet so I unpacked, got settled into my room as quietly as possible, and journaled. I just started my new book with which I am sure you are very familiar. H.G. Well’s Time Machine. The lofty language is intense after speaking only French, but I like it. The introduction was 30 pages long, so I really have only read that so far. I figure this way, I can keep my nightmare of forgetting English from coming true!

Understanding the metro system in Rennes, France

Madame Deschamps is very nice! She and a friend picked me up at the train station, la gare de Rennes, and drove me to the house. It’s fairly big for a French house and there are artifacts from all over the world that scatter the walls and surfaces. She’s a widow of 8 years and she lost her mother 7 years ago. We talked about it a bit and she said that the holidays are very hard for her. She’s probably 60 years I would guess; yes, you called it!

I still have not heard English spoken since I left Texas, but I met some tourists along the way and some sweet, older French people who helped me find my way. I suppose this immersion thing will happen faster than we counted on!

Apparently my Hungarian roommate is no longer coming because her father was diagnosed with cancer, so I will have the room to myself and a higher rent payment. She says that there may be more students coming and one of them might share my room, so I will see what happens!

It’s cold here, but no worse than Colorado except for the sea being so near that the air holds a denser and more chilling humidity level. Yesterday it was about 32 F and today it warmed up to 40 F. We watch the news everyday so I am learning to understand the relative temperatures in Celcius and to catch the weather descriptions in rapid French.

Happy New Year! Bonne année! I hope that you did something fun and are thoroughly enjoying yourself. It’s nice to write in English! At least my language skills are being challenged; I can understand most of what people say but it’s very difficult, especially since I’m still so jetlagged. They told me that I am doing very well and am responsive. I try to ask a lot of questions in order to comprehend the context and underlying meaning of their comments; French humor shall soon be mastered! It at least helps me to understand how my International students feel! Empathy is a powerful tool and emotion.

I miss you so much already and wish that you could see these beautiful and different things with me! Please tell everyone that I’m ok and share my stories because I cannot write to everyone.

Toujours/Always,

Bethy Ru